Another day, another dollar

It is absolutely amazing how slow the time ticks by when you're at work. Seconds and minutes and hours just completely lose all meaning and yet, as I sit here now, that eternity that is my work day seems a distant memory, a fuzzy dream. I mean, today was horrible. Absolutely terrible. If I really think about it, I can remember telling myself a half a dozen times that it just isn't worth it, that I should just quit and leave and make a big fuss so I can never come back. But yet, every day I wake up, roll out of bed, and head over to that inane job with those inane people, seemingly having forgotten just exactly how mind numbingly miserable it is.

You would think I would learn. You would think WE would learn as a society. But each and every day I, as well as millions upon millions upon millions of other Americans, wake up and get in a car to spend the best hours of my day doing something that I absolutely hate. And why? Well, because what the hell else am I supposed to do?

Right now I'm at a point in my life that I realize and recognize the pointlessness of the "American Dream." A life of material consumption, escalating debt, 50 hour work weeks, and two weeks vacation is something that I'm not willing to settle for. The problem is: what alternative do I have? Already I'm trapped under a mountain of debt from doing the "smart" thing and going to school; $68,000 to be exact. If I pay the minimum--$540 a month--I'll be free and clear of my student loans by 2026 at a total bill of over $110,000, at which time--if I do what I'm supposed to do--I'll have 2.5 kids and a mortgage. The thought of this absolutely horrifies me.

Forget the fact that no one really talks to you about the cost of college or really explains to you just what it means to sign the dotted line on that student loan--what is done is done--what I want to know is: now what the hell am I supposed to do? What is someone who, like me, sees the futility and pointlessness of "careers" supposed to do with monthly loan payments bigger than weekly paychecks? Have I already lost? Am I already doomed to life as a wage slave?